Wednesday, September 9, 2009

The Real Azeroth - An Undead's Journey to Power...

Morning blog lovers.

I know that I have never wrote a story about WoW in the view of a role player. I have never role played before, but I was bored and just started writing. Below is what I came up with and I hope you like it. If you do, please leave a comment and let me know.

If you never read or don't like reading these kinds of stories, I completely understand. However, this story is nothing like you have ever read before about WoW....that is certain.

Until next time, I'm WTFout!

Chapter 1: Intro

You know...I don't remember it. Its like it never even happened.

I have no clue who or what I was in my past life. I find myself thinking about it more often then I would like to, but I just can't help myself sometimes...

Did I have a family of my own? Was I a mighty champion of the Alliance that stood for honor and the great good of man or was I a poor farmer in Westfall that was too chicken shit to stand up to the thieves that own the territory?

Its not like that it matters anymore. Ever since I woke up in that coffin I knew my purpose in this life was to reek havoc to all

The Undead Queen herself is a real bitch. She has full control of our kind and makes us co-exist with the other races of the Horde. You can call me a rasict, but everyone knows that the undead are the superior race. I am just waiting for the day when we no longer have the peace treaty with the others. Just the thought of roasting those ignorant, motherless Orcs is enough to get me through my day.

I am telling you right now that I can not stand the smell of those over-grown, super-sized cows. Ugh...I would slaughter them all if the Queen let me.

"They are a worthy ally Whezzy, they have abilities that we do not possess" she says.

Blah, blah, blah, killing just one of them and I could feed my hounds for a month.

Look at me...I'm a Tauren...I am in touch with nature and I believe all living animals are wonderful...


You think all living animals are wonderful because you closest relative is a beast that only purpose in life is to be eaten. Disgusting creatures...

Don't even get my started with those wannabe Orcs. Do you know that they actually think they are Warlocks? That is laughable at best. There is a reason why Nefarian's Black Dragonflight was not successful. It was because the dipshit thought that Orcs were somehow a worthy opponent to protect its doors.

Orcs are good for one thing only, to be sent to battle as the first line of defense to kill all of the peons. If they can even do that...

That way the real skilled race can come in and take out the real threat. Undead of course you insignificant fools!

Who can forget about the Trolls....

Ahh yes, the good ol' Trolls. You would think that generations and generations of warriors would have done something for the gene pool, but sadly it has not. They are not a reliable ally in my races opinion. They rather sit around their villages, get high, and open up dance studios. They do not have the killer instinct that their ancestors once had and like we do for battles.

The only thing they are good for is drug trafficking. God damn Trolls own the drug trade and will only use their ancestral given talents to protect their business. It is a success business I must say. If anyone in Azeroth, Alliance or Horde, wants to get always leads back to the Trolls. No one dares to give them any competition on any type of hallucinate drug. It is well documented that the Trolls backlash is too much of a risk. I am not talking about just murder, I am talking about lynching of your love ones, scalping's, decapitations...ect.

Fucking dance studios...pfft

Last but not least, the Blood Elfs. The Belfs popped out of nowhere one day, it was fucking crazy. You ever wonder how so many Belfs lived on one tiny island without the rest of the world knowing? It is because there wasn't alot of Belfs in the first place. Also, the elders of Sivermoon sheltered them from the real world. They did not want them to know about how the real world works. They decided they rather make up a fantasy story to tell the young'ns about how the world is wonderful and to live life to the fullest...

What a load of shit.

Some Trolls stumbled upon the Belf island and it forever changed the race. Drugs are a crazy thing. Some of them grow naturally and some of them are chemically made. These Trolls got the Belfs hooked on some serious stuff, Bloodcaine. (Blood is the term used in the streets) It is made from the leaf of a common herb in the jungle, Kingsblood. After a year or so the whole Belf culture changed dramatically. The female Belfs turned to prostitution to make gold to buy more Blood. After another year there were too many Belfs bastard children to house on the island.

They were forced to venture out in the real world. The elders obviously decided to align themselves with the Horde due to their drug addiction and that the Trolls were on the Horde.

If I was forced to pick my favorite race within the Horde, it would have to be the Belfs. The majority of them have blood whores for mothers and that gives the kind of hatred and fury that you want.

Plus, I make all of my money off the Belfs. Confused? I will tell you how it started.

Chapter 2: My Path

Like I said at the beginning, I knew my sole purpse in this life is to destroy all things living. That is how I lived for the majority of the time I have been undead.

I have mastered all of the elements needed to destory my enemies, arcane, fire, and frost. I worked my way up to a high ranking General in the factions eyes. I have seen countless battles and have brutally killed over 500,000 Allys.

No one has ever been able to defeat my brothers and sisters when I was commanding them. I have frozen Ragornos and cut off the head of Onyixa. I laughed at Nefarian's attempts to stop me and spilled his blood on his own throne. I have torned the heart out of the wanna be Troll god Hakkar the Soulflayer and kept it as a trophy. The bugs of AQ were squashed like the pest they were....

Long story short...I was a bad mother fucker.

However, times change and with that comes changes to your lifestyle. The Queen, the bitch that she is, stated that she has no plans for the undead to break from the Horde.

At the time, I would have done anything for her, but after I heard her say those words....

My whole life changed.

I know longer felt it was my duty to show others how dominate the undead were. Why should I do all of this work for a Queen that doesn't care about the advancement of our race?

Not only that, but I was broke. All of my money was used to keep up my murderous lifestyle.

I needed to make a change and I found my calling, my niche you would say. It is what humas call a "Pimp".

To be continued...


Arioch said...

Swap Kingsblood for Bloodthistle - it's the blood elf only herb that gives a spell power boost followed by withdrawal symptoms unless you keep using it.

Keep it up! =)

River said...

Very cool, I wrote some Fan fiction for that Blizz contest. I should post it on my website.